Welcome to the Spammer's Paradise (Album)

My gift to the Anti-spam Community for Christmas Y2K.

Updates and Notices:

(17 APR 2001) Sorry I didn't announce this earlier - the original orca.bc.ca site is back up. Please use that first if you can.

(05 NOV 2001) For reasons unknown to me, the original site at www.orca.bc.ca was taken down and my account disabled. It's not likely to reappear there. This site is very low-bandwidth (128k) so please go easy on it or use mirror sites. A list of mirrors will appear here shortly.

(03 FEB 2001) Added a new bonus track inspired by This User Friendly Strip. It's a Wonderful World. This is a 128k fixed rate MP3 but it's only 2 MB. If I really have to I'll do a 56kinda version.

(25 DEC 2000) Added two more tracks and updated the playlists in time (I hope!) for the broadcast on 26 DEC 2000. Note that the Twelve Days Project is cancelled due to lack of interest. I received comments that the tracks vary too much in volume so I'll adjust them over time and provide ID3 tag information to all tracks.

(25 DEC 2000) Merry Christmas! Spammer's Paradise will be broadcast from Virginia Tech's Student Radio Station tomorrow night! Tune in to 90.7 FM in Blacksburg, Virginia, or listen to the RealSpam™ stream at 9:00 PM EST on 26 DEC 2000. For other details read Unit IV's post.

(22 DEC 2000) Updated the playlists and activated a new track.

(22 DEC 2000) Added most of the remaining tracks and inserted placeholders for yet unfinished tracks. So far a nice 57 minutes and 6 seconds of eardrum abuseentertainment. Note that the playlists are not yet updated - that will come when these MP3s are all tagged properly.

(20 DEC 2000) First half of album completed, CD Quality and V.90 (56kinda) versions available. Note that these MP3s use a variable bitrate, so the displayed duration will likely be WAY off. The table shows the actual durations.

Spammer's Paradise 2000 (Last updated 25 DEC 2000)

Title and Lyrics                       CD Quality        56k   Duration  MIDI Used
                                       [playlist]  [playlist]
Spammer's Paradise                        3.3 MB      1.1 MB       3:19      23 KB
Battle of Philadelphia                    2.3 MB      0.8 MB       2:19      27 KB
Brunner Went Down to Florida              3.7 MB      1.2 MB       3:38      74 KB
Everything They Do (They Do To Take You)  3.4 MB      1.3 MB       3:59      27 KB
Pacific Link                              4.2 MB      1.5 MB       4:35      58 KB
R B L (Less, Less, Less)                  5.3 MB      1.7 MB       4:58      66 KB
Netscape Wrangler's Song (Reload!)        2.3 MB      0.8 MB       2:24      26 KB
Satan C Compiler                          4.8 MB      1.6 MB       4:48      90 KB
The Twelve Days of Spambone (Cancelled)   n/a MB      n/a MB        n/a        n/a
Boots Like Redmond Spirit                 3.4 MB      1.2 MB       3:32      59 KB
Spammer News (Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm)            2.9 MB      1.1 MB       3:20      30 KB
William Gates Billionare                  2.7 MB      1.0 MB       2:58      54 KB
Burn Down The Spamhaus                    3.2 MB      1.1 MB       3:32      59 KB
Write in C                                3.3 MB      1.3 MB       3:46      36 KB
Sounds of Spammage                        2.7 MB      1.0 MB       2:56      34 KB
Descramble (This Function is Void)        4.3 MB      2.3 MB       7:29      * n/a
(It's Here to Stay, It's The) D.M.C.A.    3.3 MB      1.2 MB       3:35      31 KB
Tech Support Lament (I Will Survive)      3.4 MB      1.3 MB       3:48      82 KB
The Anti-spam Rant                        1.0 MB      0.4 MB       1:05      30 KB

* Joseph Wecker plays an acoustic guitar to his tune. This music also provided free by permission of the author.

Some other links

The Spammer's Paradise HowTo:

Record your own album with a PC and decent software!

The tools used included:

The typical recording went something like this:

  1. Find decent song to record or write one (Not as easy as you think, but find tons here).
  2. Find decent MIDI to sing with, or find a close one and hack it so it sounds right.
  3. Use Creative Multimedia Decks - first the MIDI deck to play, and the WAVE deck to record. MIDI Sync saves you a few mouse clicks.
  4. Use Creative Surround Mixer to adjust the audio levels as needed. Use headphones unless you like to blow your speakers with the feedback! Switch to two speaker or headphone mode even if you have four speakers or Surround Sound, because the Live! will only record the two front channels. You might need to experiment with the record levels somewhat to avoid distortion and clipping.
  5. Use Environmental Audio to add weird effects as needed to the microphone input. Most of these songs were recorded with some chorus and reverb enabled to enhance the voice. At least one tune uses two-tap echo for a 'rap' effect. If you use the Utopia Live! soundfont you need to set the Environmental Audio according to their recommendations.
  6. Record yourself singing. Use the 'What U Hear' input which captures everything, including the Envrionmental Audio effects.
  7. If you plan to add background vocals or effects, record yourself or your background effect except record Microphone only. This lets you record your effect or background vocal without having the MIDI music in it (or maybe it'll be very very faint). Then you can use Sound Recorder or other wave file player to play the background vocal or other effects while recording the rest of the tune. Now is the time you can play with the Environmental Audio effects on these little background vocals and effects.
  8. Use Creative Wave Studio or other audio file editor to trim off extra lead-in or lead out sound, and to add fade out if you need it. Use Wave Studio to amplify the sound just enough do it doesn't cause clipping or distortion. Also examine the display for clipping - if there's too much clipping re-record the tune with lower levels. It's always better to record lower then amplify - 16 bit audio offers a lot of room to amplify without distortion.
  9. Use your favorite MP3 encoder to make the MP3s. I used the MPEG II mode in all of these and used variable bit rates - 24k to 48k for the low bandwidth version and 64k to 256k for the high bandwidth version.

This album is made in Canada, eh?